by Dr. Yakov Barton

It is common to experience a range of personal obstacles, fears, and reservations when considering psychotherapy, especially when it comes to addressing deep-rooted trauma. In my practice, I strive to meet these concerns by fostering a therapy relationship rooted in non-judgment, empathy, and radical trust. As a trauma specialist, my primary goal is to establish a safe environment where clients feel secure and supported, even during moments of intense central nervous system activation.

A prevalent mental barrier to embarking on therapy is the fear of the unknown—particularly around processing through old traumas that have long been avoided. To demystify the therapy process, I work to create a clear picture of what each individual client can expect throughout treatment. This is guided by a collaborative treatment plan and set of goals that align with my clients' unique needs and aspirations. Through a comprehensive intake process, I delve into the depths of personal trauma, as well as family and social history, while identifying common disruptions and triggers that arise in present day life.

Trauma can manifest in diverse ways for different individuals. Some may grapple with anxiety, depression, or other mental health symptoms, while others may find themselves trapped in cycles of addiction or turbulent relationships. In my psychotherapy practice, I employ a somatic and source-focused approach to healing, acknowledging that effective treatment of trauma must gently address ways it has been imprinted on one’s nervous system throughout their life . Collaboratively, I work with my clients to trace the origins of their trauma and explore how it continues to impact them in the present. Together, we develop a personalized plan to foster profound and enduring change.

Trauma work is by no means a one-size-fits-all approach. Each person's experience is unique, requiring a custom tailored treatment plan that honors their individuality. Through my clinical trauma training, I have gained knowledge and skills necessary to provide compassionate and personalized care to the clients I serve. I strive to cultivate nuanced and collaborative therapy relationships, which serve as the foundation for establishing treatment goals, designing effective plans, monitoring progress, and making adjustments that maximize effectiveness.

At its best, trauma therapy empowers individuals to confront, heal, and ultimately overcome past wounds. By creating a safe and supportive environment, demystifying the therapy process, embracing a holistic approach to healing, and delivering personalized care, I am committed to helping individuals overcome the mental barriers that may prevent them from seeking the treatment and healing they need. If you are grappling with the effects of trauma, please reach out. Together, we can embark on a transformative journey of healing and recovery that unfolds uniquely for you.

Arian Mahini, Career + Relationship Coach at Oakland Psych

by Dr. Yakov Barton

In this conversation with Oakland Psych career and relationship coach Arian Mahini, we explore the unique and overlapping qualities of coaching and psychotherapy, as well how the two can best synergize to support holistic growth. Arian provides a compelling introduction to the ontological coaching philosophy, and we discuss how both approaches can utilize the internal family systems (IFS) frame in supporting self-leadership and autonomy.

by Dr. Yakov Barton

When we experience childhood trauma, it can have a profound effect on our ability to form and maintain healthy relationships. This is because trauma can disrupt our sense of safety and lead to feelings of mistrust, isolation, and fear.

If you have experienced trauma in your family of origin, you may find it difficult to trust others or feel close to them. It's important to know there are solutions--effective treatments that can dramatically change the course of your platonic and romantic relationships. With the right support, you can heal these wounds and grow to form healthy, secure, and fulfilling relationships.

Two evidence-based treatments that can help build secure attachment are eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) and internal family systems (IFS), both somatic-based trauma-informed psychotherapy modalities. These approaches focus on helping you understand, and more importantly, integrate on the level of the emotions and nervous system, how your past relational experiences are affecting your current life. They also work to build trust and safety in the psychotherapeutic relationship as a way of laying down “beta” for future emotional connection and vulnerability.

If you are struggling with attachment trauma, please reach out to explore potential psychological treatments paths that can help in meaningful and transformative ways. With the right support, you can begin to heal the past and build healthy, secure relationships in the present.

Here are four explanatory videos to better understand how EMDR and IFS work, and to consider whether they may be the right therapy modalities for you.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)

"Introduction to EMDR Therapy" by the EMDR International Association

"The Secrets of EMDR Therapy and How It Can Help You" by The School of Life

Internal Family Systems (IFS)

"What is IFS Therapy? | Intro to Internal Family Systems" by Dr. Teri Olds

"Overview of the Internal Family Systems Therapy model" by Jay W. Foster

by Dr. Yakov Barton

Maybe you’ve noticed that traumas from your past tend to echo in a recurring pattern in your life. People who grew up in emotionally abusive families often find themselves in friendships and partnerships that repeat the same patterns. Individuals who had emotionally vacant and neglectful parents may realize they are perpetually clinging to avoidant relationships, seemingly on the verge of slipping away. Veterans with near-death war traumas may encounter recurring dangerous situations long after their military service has ended. Those who were bullied by peers growing up often experience the world as being against them in their adult life.

Why is this?

Throughout my work as a trauma psychologist, I’ve observed three common mechanisms that help explain why our traumas seem to repeat over and over throughout our lives—at least until we process them. The better we understand these mechanisms, the more power we have to disrupt our looping trauma patterns and build a healthier emotional life that is free from obsolete suffering.

#1: Vigilance & sensitivity

The first arises from our vigilance and sensitivity towards a charged topic, meaning we are perpetually on the lookout for past traumas repeating themselves. Imagine if back in hunter gatherer times, you noticed a crackle in the bushes before a tiger jumped out and tried to eat you. If you narrowly escaped, you would likely become hypervigilant towards any future sounds that remind you of this experience, to help maximize your chances of survival in the case of a repeat event. It wouldn’t matter if there were 1,000 false positives, if there were one true positive that saved your life and you were able to procreate as a result, then that vigilant trait would be selected for in the gene pool. This is how our species evolved to remain firmly tethered to past disturbing experiences, arguably to a greater degree than nearly any other. Evolution hasn’t led us to be free of anxiety and vigilance, thus we are not programmed to easily leave behind old—and perhaps obsolete—traumas. 

#2: Attraction to our shadows

The second mechanism through which our traumatized patterns may appear to repeat is based in our unconscious attraction to what is familiar. As humans, we are often drawn back to our shadows to confront and transcend them. This is often expressed in our kinks and fantasies. In one example of this phenomenon, we may find ourselves in the same dysfunctional relationships that mirror old patterns from our families of origin, and perfectly trigger our anxious or avoidant attachment fears. We are enamored with these relationships and experiences to try to master them—which if done in a conscious and effective way can be a form of healthy adaptation and personal evolution.

#3: Unconscious repetition

Finally, the third way traumatic themes in our lives can show up in a repeating loop is through a sort of backfiring of the strategies we are using—consciously or unconsciously—to try to avoid these same traumas. In other words, the parts of us that are hard at work protecting us may inadvertently create recurring situations that lead us to reexperience these feared scenarios. A good example is that of social anxiety. A socially anxious part of us may attempt to protect us from future instances of past social humiliation or rejection by rendering us rigid, cold, or socially withdrawn. This, in turn, may lead to a self-manifested reexperiencing of feeling disconnected from partners, friends, and community. It’s important to avoid seeing this as victim-blaming, because a deeper understanding of this mechanism can lead to greater empowerment and agency to create change.

How can we evolve?

Throughout my clinical work, I’ve found that shining a light on these trauma-perpetuating mechanisms can be a potent tool in unraveling our loops of suffering. With powerful somatic-based and trauma-informed treatment modalities like eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) and internal family systems (IFS), we can process through and recode obsolete traumas, particularly in the way they are stored in our nervous systems, freeing us from self-sabotaging attempts to feel safe. Though we have understandably evolved to hold tight to past traumatic moments in time, to help us avoid them in the future, it is the other side of this coin that can perpetuate our own suffering. Thankfully, we can step out of these loops that no longer serve us.

By Adam Cook and Dr. Yakov Barton

When stress envelops your life, due to a major loss or life transition, good sleep is often the first thing to take a hit. It may not seem like losing a few hours of sleep can make a serious impact on your daily life, but you may discover those restless nights are taking a significant toll on your emotional well-being and reserves. Here are some sleep hygiene tips that can be helpful for falling asleep and staying asleep through the night.

Self-care practices

It’s important to care for your needs while grieving the loss of a person or relationship, recovering from a traumatic experience, or navigating any major life transition. Whether through psychotherapy, increased exercise, healthy eating, building social support, or spending time in nature, self-care is one of the most valuable tools to improve sleep and overall well-being. Perpetuating this positive “upward spiral” is invaluable in dealing with an array of challenging emotions you are likely experiencing during this difficult time. Self-care promotes better sleep, which bolsters emotional reserves, all building helpful momentum through a positive cycle.

Watch your pre-bedtime habits

Your routine prior to sleep has a significant impact on your ability to fall asleep, stay asleep, and experience high quality sleep. Try to avoid coffee and nicotine before bedtime; both chemical are stimulants that have long-lasting effects. Scientists say caffeine remains active in your system all day, so drinking coffee after 2 PM can negatively impact your sleep. Try to limit mild caffeine consumption to the morning. On the opposite end of the spectrum, alcohol and cannabis may appear to help you get to sleep more quickly, they can disrupt sleep cycles and lead to a diminished quality of rest. They can cause fitful, shallow rest—leaving you feeling exhausted and emotionally drained the next day. 

Watching television, reading on your phone, or playing video games within 2-3 hours before bed confuses your internal clock. The blue light that electronic devices emit inhibits the slower brain waves that allow you to fall and stay asleep. Try to keep electronic devices out of your bedroom. Instead, use the time to slow your mind with deep breathing exercises, mindfulness, or qigong practice. You may also want to read a calming book or listen to soothing music to relax. You will find that, as you change your bedtime habits, you will eventually begin to fall into a regular rhythm. This is important because going to bed at the same time every night, and staying asleep for the same duration, is good for your sleep quality and overall health.

Gadgets and tools to support quality sleep

If you are experiencing insomnia, it can be tempting to try to find tools or gadgets that promise to help you get better sleep. However, most gadgets available will only cause you to spend your money unnecessarily. You may find some benefit from smart alarm clocks or sleep apps, but in general, you will get the best value for your money by investing in light, comfortable, and breathable sheets, a mattress and pillow designed for your sleeping style, and cultivating a bedroom that is cool, quiet, and dark. Depending on your age, you may require a different kind of mattress. Older individuals can benefit from mattresses that provide increased back support and engonomic adjustability. The way you sleep also determines the kind of mattress you need. For instance, back-sleepers need firmer mattresses, while side-sleepers need softer ones. Comfortable eye masks are also useful, particularly if you sleep in a room that is overly bright. 

Good sleep is invaluable to your emotional health, so give yourself this gift by practicing self-care, improving your pre-sleep routine and sleep schedule, and arranging your room for optimal sleep. Taking care of yourself in these ways will empower you to process your stresses and move through challenging life transitions in a healthy way. If you find that you need further assistance with managing major life stressors and improving your quality of sleep, please consider scheduling psychotherapy support with Oakland Psychological Services or reach out to us for a referral to a sleep specialist.

Adam Cook is a contributing author for Oakland Psychological Services.

by Dr. Yakov Barton

From my experience treating trauma over the past few years, I have come to understand that much of our psychological suffering, particularly related to anxiety and self-worth, loops back to disturbing experiences from our past. The severity of these memories at first glance does not necessarily correlate with their impact on our current triggers. For most of us, this relationship is outside of our conscious awareness. The amazing thing is, by processing old traumas or “feeder memories,” we can dramatically improve our present day relationships, confidence, self-image, and overall ability to be calm and happy.

I received advanced training on Flash Technique, a trauma treatment intervention developed by Dr. Phillip Manfield. An offshoot of EMDR, this therapy tool can rapidly alleviate trauma associated with a disturbing memory or sequence. Since then, I have been blown away by its ease of use and fast-acting efficacy in a wide range of trauma applications. Flash Technique can lower a client’s subjective units of disturbance (SUDs) from a 10 or 9 to a 3 or 0 in as little as 5 minutes. This decrease in disturbance is often enduring and can can dramatically reduce or fully alleviate related symptoms, such as emotional triggers, flashbacks, nightmares, hypervigiliance, paranoia, and general anxiety. It can serve as a stand alone trauma processing technique or dramatically reduce disturbance levels (and thus avoidance or potential flooding during processing) associated with a specific trauma before moving into full EMDR treatment. More information on the use and mechanisms of Flash Technique can be found in the published article by Manfield et. al, Use of the Flash Technique in EMDR Therapy, as well as this recent blog post by Dr. Manfield:

By preventing clients from focusing on their disturbing memories, Flash Technique (FT) prevents the client from going into a traumatized state in which important parts of the brain necessary for resolving the memories are relatively unavailable.  The results have been startling. Earlier this year a study was published in which FT was used effectively with highly dissociative subjects in a group setting in a homeless shelter (Wong, 2019). Most recently, a research paper submitted for publication in June, 2019 reported the results of four almost identical studies involving totally 813 flash “sessions” of less than 15 minutes in duration conducted in a group format in which participants were given instructions that assisted them in performing the technique on themselves. Two of these studies were conducted in the United States, one in Australia, and one in Uganda. In the two U.S. studies, the mean disturbance level was reduced by over two thirds. In the other two studies, the reduction was over 80%. In all four studies, the results were highly significant (p<.001) and effect sizes were large. In all four studies mean benefits of FT were sustained or improved at four week follow-up. Moreover this technique has been shown to be extremely safe. In the four studies reported, only two sessions out of 813 reflected an increase, however slight, in [disturbance levels]. Both of these subjects then did a second session in which disturbance was reduced. 

We may be in a time of wellness fixation, one that can distort our judgement of what is healthy, ineffective, or even harmful. We have learned to conflate challenge and suffering with health and benefit. The anxiety we create from these fixations can take a greater mental and physical toll than the potential benefit we receive. Dr. Margaret McCartney offers a compelling perspective on the “cult of wellness,” its origins, and how we can exercise stronger discernment of what is baseless and anxiety driven and what is truly beneficial to our minds and bodies.

“Vast amounts of technology is marketed through the wellness industry, via apps and fitness devices, promoted as a responsible way to “know thyself” better. But, frankly, it makes something which should be fun – good living – into a miserable, competitive, pseudoscientific morass.

The well-being industry is a massive business – for we are not allowed to assume that if we feel well, then we are well. Instead we are told we have to have our hands on the vegetable juicer to “detox,” to do exercise classes to achieve not just physical fitness but spiritual nirvana, all while monitoring our every mouthful and emission for signs that we are impure. This industry invites us to be self-absorbed and obsessed – making us unhealthy while promising us better health.

As a family doctor with a keen interest in evidence-based practice, I find our obsession with wellness troubling. This vogue has to be set against a cultural landscape where science is seen as a matter of opinion rather than fact and evidence. Social media have allowed a slew of widely followed celebrities to recommend products and supplements despite having little evidence to justify them. 

There has always been quackery, but vast swaths of the health and fitness sector, especially online, seem to have been colonized by what I term bollocksology. The rise of the internet has allowed amplification of the cool, trendy and aesthetically pleasing, and science – which does not readily use advertising teams or public-relations companies – has struggled to make itself heard. So there is nothing new about the goodness of exercise as medicine – indeed, there is high-quality evidence that it helps prevent and treat many conditions. The wellness crusade, however, invites people to feel constantly anxious about their health, even when feeling entirely well.

This inducement to anxiety breeds profitable markets in the process.”

Our communication tends to suffer the most when we are emotionally charged and clarity is most important. In these moments, we often speak in long jumbled paragraphs as we struggle to understand what we are feeling and attempting to convey. This article conceptualizes effective communication and details 7 useful tools to strengthen this fundamental component of all relationships.

"Unhealthy verbal communication often starts not with words but with negative thoughts or difficult emotions. If you are in a long-term romantic relationship, you have spent so much time with our partner that you feel you know them inside-out. You anticipate how they react in certain situations. You have painted a picture of who they are and you may fail to re-discover them. This often has a negative impact on how we communicate in a romantic relationship. Because relationships are all about cultivating the differences and remaining curious who the other person really is and how they see the world."

In a recent August 10, 2020 interview with Men’s Therapy Directory, I discuss my research on depression as an often misunderstood mechanism for growth, as well as some of the common barriers that prevent men from seeking psychotherapeutic support. Audio podcast version, here.

In this post, Dr. Yakov Barton talks about reframing depression as a normal human experience that can be an opportunity for growth. In his private practice, he specializes in trauma-informed therapy for depression, anxiety and addiction.

Ripe for Therapy

Yakov Barton sees the glass as half full. Depression, he says, can be a growth opportunity. Instead of avoiding difficult feelings, men can grow by going to therapy.

Unfortunately, a lot of men are resistant to seeking help. This is because of the stigma around men and therapy, Yakov explains. Men often ignore their mental health for so long that they reach a point of desperation. They become ripe for therapy, and the fruit, as it were, simply must be harvested.

Yakov says that men don’t have to wait until things get desperate. Going to therapy sooner rather than later can help men avoid a lot of unnecessary suffering.

Developmental Depression

Our society tends to pathologize depression and other mental health challenges. Therapists are often too quick to "cure" someone's depressive symptoms, without exploring the reason for the depression in the first place.

Yakov has done significant research in the area of developmental depression, which posits that depression is more common than we think, and may actually be a growth opportunity if explored in a non-pathological way.

He found that depression is common in the emerging-adult age group (18-25). Perhaps this is a normal rather than pathological response to the stressors and transitions inherent to this period of development.

If men knew how common depression really is, they might be more likely to make an appointment with a therapist and get the help they need.

Here’s an excellent piece on the value of positive psychology in strengths-based treatments for addiction. A successful journey out of addiction must go beyond symptom reduction to utilize our unique strengths and insights. Recovery is an opportunity for transformation and rapid growth!

"In effective addiction treatment, positive psychological approaches play an important role in achieving long-term addiction recovery goals. Traditionally, addicts are told that they have a disease; that they will have to manage it for the rest of their lives; to expect relapse and that from a statistical perspective, most will die from their illness. This is a tremendously demoralizing prognosis to provide to someone. A positive psychologist would reframe the situation, suggesting that addiction is a behavioral disorder and even the most entrenched behaviors can be changed. While not denying the negative statistics surrounding addiction recovery, a reframing of the opportunity to recover into something attainable is empowering and motivating to many who suffer from substance abuse."

Emotional intelligence is an often overlooked yet invaluable area of personal resilience and development.

"We define emotional intelligence as the subset of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one's own and others' feelings and emotions, to discriminate among them and to use this information to guide one's thinking and actions." -Profs Peter Salovey & John Mayer

Here's a useful article conceptualizing emotional intelligence and how it can be purposefully cultivated.

Generous feedback on RateMyProfessor from the graduate students of my Positive Psychology course at Columbia University this past year: 

"Professor Barton inspired me to create a daily habit of mindfulness and consider positive psychology as an important facet in a broad range of modalities and treatments. Yakov explained concepts very well. He created a class space that was structured while at the same time encouraging for students to freely express thoughts without judgement."

"Yakov is an amazing resource within the positive psychology field. His positive psychology class is uniquely positioned to showcase his extensive experience with the best mindfulness training techniques that combine leading psychology research with age-old meditation knowledge."

"Positive Psychology was a class for which I had very high expectations, and Dr. Barton matched them all. I am so grateful to have learned so much about PosPsy, and the readings were almost universally great. His lectures are clear and he is very supportive inout of class."

"I took Professor Barton's Positive Psychology class at Columbia University. Uses a fascinating approach to teaching positive psychology material, including experiential meditationrelaxation exercises, lectures, group activities, films, and a class debate on the current state of the field. Learned a ton, highly recommended!"

50 years ago medicine dismissed a psychosomatic link between our emotions and physical health as pseudoscience. Now, our thought patterns and emotions are understood to play an overarching role in determining physical wellness and resilience, as described in this recent New York Time article and book by Dr. Sandeep Jauhar.

“In ‘Heart: A History,’ Dr. Sandeep Jauhar argues that doctors need to devote more attention to how factors like unhappy relationships and work stress influence heart disease.

Studies now show that stress and despair can significantly influence health, especially that of the heart. One of the most striking examples is a condition known as Takotsubo cardiomyopathy, or broken-heart syndrome, in which the death of a spouse, financial worries or some other emotional event severely weakens the heart, causing symptoms that mimic a heart attack.

The link between emotional health and heart health is the subject of a new book, “Heart: A History,” by Dr. Sandeep Jauhar. Dr. Jauhar, a cardiologist, traces the history of cardiovascular medicine and explores its remarkable technological advances, from open-heart surgery to the artificial heart. But while these cardiac innovations have been transformative, Dr. Jauhar argues that the field of cardiology needs to devote more attention to the emotional factors that can influence heart disease, like unhappy relationships, poverty, income inequality and work stress.”

The field of psychologist has be quick to pathologize depression as a chronic mental illness. Researchers are now beginning to explore the possibility that depression is often a precursor for growth and transformation, as summarized in this article.

“A significant subset of people recover and thrive after depression, yet research on such individuals has been rare,” they write in their recent paper in Perspectives on Psychological Science. They propose a definition for “high functioning after depression” (HFAD); argue that the advice given to people with depression need not be so gloomy; and lay out key areas for future research.

Insight into the ways Facebook is systematically designed to promote behavioral addiction, consuming as much of our anxious attention and time as possible.

“The thought process was all about, ‘How do we consume as much of your time and conscious attention as possible?’ ...And that means that we need to sort of give you a little dopamine hit every once in a while, because someone liked or commented on a photo or a post or whatever, and that’s going to get you to contribute more content, and that’s going to get you more likes and comments. It’s a social validation feedback loop. … You’re exploiting a vulnerabilty in human psychology.” -Sean Parker

PHUBBING—the act of snubbing the people you are with in favor of being on your phone—unsurprisingly has a negative impact on our relationships, particularly with a primary partner.

"There’s an irony in phubbing. When we’re staring at our phones, we’re often connecting with someone on social media or through texting. Sometimes, we’re flipping through our pictures the way we once turned the pages of photo albums, remembering moments with people we love. Unfortunately, however, this can severely disrupt our actual, present-moment, in-person relationships, which also tend to be our most important ones."

Here’s an interesting summary of research on the effects of phubbing and strategies to counter these addictive patterns.

How do we balance empathic warmth and tough accountability in supporting those we love the most? An interesting look at the challenge of balancing both without falling into the realm of codependency.

"Helping a loved one achieve his or her goals can require criticism rather than warmth, harshness rather than comfort. It’s difficult to give complacency-shattering feedback while simultaneously making someone feel valued [and] loved."

Compelling evidence that depression can spur invaluable grappling, self insight, and life-changing transformation!

"If depression is a strategic response that we are programmed to carry out, consciously or unconsciously, does it make sense to try to suppress its symptoms through, say, the use of antidepressants? Hagen describes antidepressants as painkillers, arguing that it would be unethical for a doctor to treat a broken ankle with Percocet and no cast. You need to fix the underlying problem. He regrets the fact that the DSM, psychiatry’s diagnostic manual, has removed from major depressive disorder’s diagnostic criteria any exception for life circumstance, even bereavement. This is part of an effort to make diagnosis more objective and scientific, and encourage the profession to focus on observable symptoms rather than causes."

Sleep... the #1 most important ingredient for mental health. Learn how sleep hygiene can transform the quality of your sleeping & waking life.

Here are some useful strategies on sleep hygiene from the American Sleep Association:

Maintain a regular sleep routineAvoid naps if possibleDon’t stay in bed awake for more than 5-10 minutes.Don’t watch TV or read in bed.Drink caffeinated drinks with cautionAvoid inappropriate substances that interfere with sleepExercise regularlyHave a quiet, comfortable bedroomIf you are a ‘clock watcher’ at night, hide the clock.Have a comfortable pre-bedtime routine

We play an active role in choosing whether to harness or be hindered by our anxiety. This research suggests that we can cultivate the ability to utilize our stress to enhance our performance.

"Anxiety is a normal, healthy emotion. It’s meant to alert you to danger. When you encounter a dangerous situation, your fight or flight response is activated. That surge of energy encourages you take action that will keep you alive. But most people experience anxiety in situations that aren't actually life threatening. Going to a job interview, speaking up for yourself, or giving a speech probably won’t kill you. But when you’re in those situations, your body may react as though you’re dangling from the edge of a cliff with one arm. Historically, anxiety has often been viewed as the enemy. ...But new research suggests that anxiety doesn't always have to impair performance. In fact, it may enhance it."